Exposing Hillary So She Won't Get Elected

Make Mom Nauseous This Mother’s Day With A Phone Call From Hillary!

Do you hate your mom? Your mother-in-law? Maybe you dread Mother’s Day every year, knowing you’ve got to plop down $35 on some crappy flowers and a kiss on the cheek knowing she deserves something much more apropos to the horrible person she is.

A gift so bad and undesirable, it makes your sphincter tighten just thinking about it.

How about a phone call from Hillary Clinton?

That’s right. This Mother’s Day, Hillary is raffling off a phone call to five lucky moms out there.

Now, lest you were thinking that perhaps you could enter the drawing and have a chance to tell Hillary how you really felt about her, you might want to think again. In the official rules, they indicate that all entrants are subject to a background check.

Sponsor may, at its option, conduct a background check on each potential winner. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any potential winner from receiving any prize based on such background check if Sponsor determines, in its sole discretion, that awarding any prize to such potential winner could result in a safety or security risk to any person or persons or could result in the disruption of any event associated with the Promotion.

This means, of course, they’ll run your name through NSA’s servers and if you’re a rabble rouser, a conservative, or if you’re simply not “desirable,” you probably won’t get a phone call.

But who knows? Maybe you’d get through.

I entered the contest. I’d like to ask Hillary if she’s mimicking her husband’s leadership style by having a sex act performed on her under her desk while she’s talking to me.

Ew. There goes the sphincter muscle again.