Exposing Hillary So She Won't Get Elected

Hillary’s First Official TV Spots: I Love my Mom, Please Love Me

The new TV ads are designed to give you Clinton 2.0, or 3.0, or maybe by now 178.0, for people who already know Clinton 1.0 is not particularly likable. They also play heavily to the one solid meme Hillary has not had to backpedal on, her being a women.

To begin, we learn Hillary had a mom, Dorothy (pictured). Remember the name, because it looks like we’re going to hear a lot of it over the next 14 months. Like a really terrible college entrance exam, the spot tells us how much Hillary liked her mom, and how much she misses her, ’cause, see, mom pulled herself up by her bootstraps after being mistreated as a child to raise Hillary into Superwoman. Jeez, everything but ending it with “I still believe in a place called Hope.”

And see, the TV spot is all in black and white, so you know this sh*t is serious.

Some interesting omissions. Hillary’s first legal job, getting fired from the Watergate investigating committee, is missing. Her stint as a defense attorney, including defending a rapist, is not around. We see Obama, but he is known here only as “the MAN who defeated her.” Of course there is nothing about all that White Housey First Lady stuff.

And so wrap it all up, after listing all the titles Hillary has churned through to get where she is today, we learn the newest one: Grandma. You all across America are expected at this point to let out a collective “aaahhhh…” in tribute. See, no matter what — Senator, SecState — Hillary is still a woman person.

So anyway, vote for Hillary because she loves her mom.