Exposing Hillary So She Won't Get Elected

Here’s What Hillary Will Say June 13 in Her Major Campaign Re-Announcement

Hillary Clinton will kick off the next phase of her presidential campaign Saturday, delivering a major speech in New York City.

According to a Clinton campaign official, her address will have four key elements. Get ready folks, because this is what you’re going to hear from Hillary for the next 16 months. She’ll stick to this script as close as possible, to the point where we’ll all have it in our heads like a bad TV commercial jingle.

Here’s what she’ll say:

1) A discussion of what motivated Clinton to enter public service.

Clinton will talk about how her mother’s life story cemented her belief that every day people, and particularly children, need advocates. Clinton wrote about her mother’s traumatic upbringing in her book Hard Choices “When I got old enough to understand all this, I asked my mother how she survived abuse and abandonment without becoming embittered and emotionally stunted. ‘At critical points in my life somebody showed me kindness,’ she said.”

This campaign meme goes out to all the ladies in the audience, so get some Kleenex ready. Hillary may even tear up herself. Expect this part of the speech to sound like the worst grandma died college entrance essay ever. It will also resonate because none of the Republican candidates have mothers.

2) The overarching theme of Clinton’s campaign is her desire to be a “champion for everyday Americans.”

At one point, Clinton will address us everyday Americans directly with a simple message: “It is your time.”

Clinton will outline something she will describe as her guiding principle, which is that the country’s success should be measured by how families are doing rather than how the richest fare.

This is pure Onion, as of course Clinton is safely part of the One Percent and growing richer. And if “it is my time,” great, can you please explain how that helps me feed my kids?

3) Her vision for the country.

Clinton here will identify what she considers the central question of the 2016 race — whether you are advocating for everyday Americans.

Yes, yes I am advocating, right here in fact.

4) The starkly clear choice between her ideas and Republicans’ policies.

The fourth element of Clinton’s speech will involve her casting the 2016 election as a starkly clear choice between her ideas and Republicans’ policies.

This is so important, because otherwise voters could easily mistake Hillary’s support for more war abroad and more bailouts for banks at home for being exactly the same thing the Republicans are saying. Well-played, Madame Candidate, well-played…