Exposing Hillary So She Won't Get Elected

This Just In: The Obamas WILL Have A Last Throw-Down Of A Celeb-Filled Party

Listen, I know you guys were waiting, all breathless and whatnot, wondering whether Obama and Michelle were going to go out with a bang this month.  I mean, he dusted off his Tweet machine this week with his big ol’ list of accomplishments, which was totally super cute and all – especially when Valerie Jarrett piped in and said that he he was squeaky clean and had no scandals.

Lord, I love a good laugh.

To those of us who know what’s up, it’s like Obama has been getting his resume all dolled back up so he can retreat back to his new mac-daddy mansion and write yet another autobiography.  People can’t get enough of his stories of organizing communities and winning peace prizes with orders of shrimp tacos.  My guess is that after he writes about all of his squeaky-freeness and non-scandals, he’ll either become a regular on The View or go full-time next to Kelly Ripa.  My guess is that she’s been keeping the seat next to her a revolving door on purpose.  These things aren’t by accident, y’all.  And you can’t deny that he’d be absolutely perfect for that role.

Anywho.  The Obamas HAVE to have one last throw-down, because this is the Obamas we’re talking about.  They’re like the popular kids in high school – the ones who can skate by with as minimal school work as humanly possible.  They walk into school like they own the place, and they party as much as they can.  And they leave the real work (as well as the bill) for the chumpy kids.  Only those kids are you and me.  (And that kind of sucks, because I wasn’t a chump in high school.  I’m not a fan of being one now.)

So, who’s going to be at the final lavish party (once again paid for by the chumps), you ask?  The other popular super-rich kids…like Beyonce and Jay-Z and Samuel Jackson and Oprah and director JJ Abrams and George Lucas, of course.  Just to name a few.  Duh.

Meanwhile, Trump has no friends in Hollyweird.  He’s not popular at all.  He can barely get a freaking American to perform at his inauguration (and I want to punch so many American singers in the face right now – but that’s a whole other post).  But the man’s already working – for America.  Go figure.  Oh yeah, and he’s not taking a paycheck.  Not from you or me.  So far, I’m not his chump. Neither are you.

Huh.

And lookie here – companies are already staying here in the United States, because of that extra work off the clock.  Companies like Ford, who is investing $700 million in Michigan – who kind of needs that sort of investment, the last time I checked.

But listen, I hope all the celebs are having fun at their fawn-over-the-Obamas-again party, while they hate on Trump and talk about how “terrified” they are about what he’s going to do to our beautiful and exceptional country.  I suppose it’s hard to get in the trenches to fix real problems when you’re holding a freaking champagne flute in your hand.  One you didn’t pay for.

(And they still don’t understand why he got elected.  Sigh.)

From COTR.