Exposing Hillary So She Won't Get Elected

For Only $55, This Hillary Clinton Throw Pillow Can Be Yours!

Finally!

You probably woke up this morning and said to yourself: “Hey! I really need an off-white accent for my chocolate brown living room antique sofa! It’s too bad that Hillary Clinton hasn’t come out with a line of throw pillows yet!”

Well, rest assured, your concerns can now be assuaged.

Hillary Clinton has a throw pillow for you! And it only costs $55!!!!1!!11!

The pillow is a beautiful square that appears to be sewn with needle point and thread by a very feminine, submissive woman. We would suggest that it was produced in a China sweatshop by a woman working for slave wages (if any wages), but lo and behold Hillary’s site tells us, in italics, that the product is “American Made.”

And we all know by now that Hillary Clinton doesn’t lie about anything so that must be true.

The pillow reads: “A Woman’s Place Is In The White House!” Below that pithy statement is the logo for the Hillary Clinton campaign, featuring an arrow pointing to the right even though Hillary hasn’t moved right since the Johnson administration.

We don’t know if the pillow can be bought at a discount as part of a larger package (note: be careful about using the phrase “larger package” around Hillary’s husband). It might be best to sit this one out for a while and wait until you can purchase the pillow together with the pantsuit tee (no, we aren’t making this up) for a bulk discount.

The pillow doesn’t just have the appearance of decades, past, though. It also has the quality of customer service we remember from the 1970’s. You’ll have to wait 4-6 weeks after ordering before you receive your pillow.

Maybe by then, she’ll have answered a few more questions.