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Ellen Needed a Deep Breaths After Jessica Simpson Revealed what Her ‘Sleeping’ Husband Could Do

Jessica Simpson is known for many things. However, few note her for her brains.

So when she stopped by the “Ellen DeGeneres” show to talk all things Jessica, she appeared to not have all the answers.

During the five-minute, forehead-smacking interview, DeGeneres quickly learned to steer clear of numbers when asking Simpson questions, including those about her own marriage. When asked how long she and husband Eric Johnson have been married, Simpson gifted the world with this drawn-out response:

“Seven years now. Well, coming on seven years. Well, actually, no … seven years — that’s a long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a seven-year relationship — other than with a woman. But, no, not that kind. I mean, you know, with my best [friends] that understand me. But, seven years.”

And then DeGeneres asked Simpson a simple question about what she and her husband like to do together. That garnered this gem of an answer:

“We kind of like TV shows, but he snores through them — so I guess I kind of like that. He golfs … I don’t…

And I like to get a back massage every night. He does — since I was pregnant — hands down, even if things aren’t going great and he’s still snoring, somehow he knows how to massage my back.”

Ellen then responded for everyone when she asked:

“He massages you while he’s sleeping?”

And Simpson reassured her that was, in fact, the case:

“It’s a very awesome talent.”

DeGeneres seemed to get a little more concerned for Simpson, offering an alternative:

“Maybe he’s not really sleeping, Jessica, maybe he pretends that he’s sleeping.”

Simpson then seemed to be okay with that logic, suggested:

“Maybe I’m just impressed by him.”

But DeGeneres, like the rest of the world, needed to know for certain that Simpson understood her point:

“No, but seriously, how could he massage you while you sleep?”

And like clockwork, Simpson provided the world with even more fool-proof logic:

“I don’t know, his hands somehow find me.”

DeGeneres, like a weary caretaker, said her peace once and for all:

“He’s not asleep.”

Simpson then proceeded to stumble over difficult questions like:

“How long has it been since you’ve done music?”

And:

“Have you written a song yet, or are you just starting?”

However, the woman behind, a billion-dollar company mind you, made it through the interview. Giving America anther “tuna fish versus chicken-of-the-sea” ranking moment.